For the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking on and off about India in general. Two decades ago when I came to USA, I was the only within my family and my extended family on both maternal and paternal side who had immigrated to USA. My family was of course used to idea of dad in middle east, but a 3 hour flight didnt make it feel very far outside of India. Two decades hence, I still remain the only one outside (along with my wife) from India. While over the last decade many of my cousins have also emigrated to the USA, I was never close enough with them to think my family is here (heck we haven’t even met each other more than two times in the last decade!).
So I keep thinking about family back in India. Imagining what-ifs - what if, we too along with my family and extended family had stayed back? I keep imagining few years from now about kid’s wedding and I literally fucking know no family to invite them to wedding. The kid has cousins here that she barely even registers much less family, and the immediate family kids are all back in India. It just feels very lonely at times knowing that beyond my own circle of friends, there is literally nobody here to fall back on. Beyond us, the kid has nobody to lean on except her friends. I feel jealous looking at my brother’s own kids who are surrounded by family on both sides at all times - growing up amongst people, family and all makes me feel bad that my kid missed out on all that.
It sure would’ve felt nice if my entire family had immigrated here I suppose.