I’ve never had to deal with death up close and personal up till now, even though I have lost people. Even with mom, by the time I was in India everything was done, I didnt even get a chance to say goodbye, and only thing that remained was rituals to complete over next 11 days. Yesterday was the first time in my life I was at a cremation and experiencing final goodbyes and it was just really, really tough. She was just three.
All of us friends hung around with dad & mom through the day. We welcomed guests coming in from near & far to pay their respects, consoled them when they broke down. We consoled each other when it was too hard to bear it. But the hardest moment personally for me was to hold my friend close while telling him it was time to let go. Those few moments are etched in my heart and if I can feel that much pain I simply cannot imagine what they are going through. As much as I share their grief, I truly will never ever even comprehend the magnitude of loss they feel.
Later when everyone had left, we stuck around with them because they didnt want to leave, just yet. It was a somber moment for all of us. As each one of us was consoling them, I couldn’t help notice the passage of time between us. We sat around talking nonsense about grad school 2 decades ago, to talking trash about cricket, to our new jobs, to our new beginnings with our wives, and kids, to trips and parties. I never imagined a day we’d all be sitting around grieving a life taken away so soon from them, and all of us. At this point, all I know is we are all here for each other & them, and nothing will make us relieved to see them recover in their way, at their own pace. We got their back.
Hug your kids tight today and hug them some more.