One of most under-talked topics in India is how hard Indian men have it when they lose their spouses, especially our parents generation and ones before. If the man passes away, the women amalgamate into other families far more easily than men do. If the family does not have a son, then the women don’t have much problem joining their daughter families, or even women’s extended families and become one of their own. They have so much more to give to the household than men can, and more often than not, men are mostly seen as a burden once their wife passes away. I am not justifying the men here, but saying that’s just how society looks at in India. My dad went through the same experience years back when he became a widow, and had it not been for my brother back home, its unlikely he would have a found a “home” per se, and most likely be living alone by himself. My grandpa did the same when he lost his wife. But my great-grandma just became a part of my grandpa’s family after she lost her husband. My dad’s sister didnt live alone when she divorced her husband - she just became a part of our family for the longest time before she re-married someone else. This is such a uniquely men issue, at least in India.
Last night I and a cousin were catching up reminiscing our shared time spent with aunt who passed away, she quipped, how will our uncle live anymore and where? The son’s here in the states, and while his daughter is in other part of India. While my uncle has his own family in the town, there is literally no chance he’d be spending time with them. In a matter of 7 years his house that used to be filled with people has gone literally empty - kids moved out, his own elderly mom & died within an year of each other and now his wife after after few years. I really feel for him now that he has nothing but an empty house to come back to every day. I hope that in time he figures out a way forward like my dad did (though much thanks to my brother more than anyone else!), and in time finds a path ahead that keeps him happy and motivated.